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Thursday 11 August 2011

Your First Date

How many people feel they have made mistakes on the first date and don’t know where they went wrong? I bet the actual number would surprise you. There are a lot of people who don’t understand where a first date went wrong. There have been books, articles, movies created on first date etiquette. Some have very strong points and others are a little laughable. Dating etiquette is a varied topic, below are some things I consider when going on a first date.

  1. If no one talks then you will be bored. Most recommend that you don’t talk about yourself, but entice the other to talk. To a certain degree this is appropriate. Most individuals spend time getting to know someone before going on their first official date. Remember those conversations when you head out to dinner or wherever. Use your knowledge of that person to keep the conversation going.
  2. If there is a lag in conversation that is only natural. Have you ever sat in a restaurant and all the sudden it is extremely quite or loud. There are new conversations or breaks in conversation about every seven minutes. Don’t panic just relax and a new topic or question to ask will come to mind.
  3. The idea of a date is to learn more about a person and let that person learn more about you. Yeah if you have a few quirks that often run a person off the best time to show those is not the first date. This doesn’t mean don’t be yourself. You need to be yourself at all times, but admitting your deepest secrets will often scare a person off. It would scare you right. I mean if I told you I suffer from anxiety disorders and spent an hour on the topic would you want to date me again. Probably not, but mentioning you have trouble in crowded places may let you’re date know where you are comfortable going and thus chose a better place to go for a second date.
  4. Family can be a safe topic. Most people of curious about how many brothers and sisters you have. Whether your parents are still living or married. This lets the other person speak about those they love and gives you an idea about what is important to them. If they don’t really want to speak about their family chances are they don’t get along.
  5. The last sentence leads me to my next suggestion on first dates. Pay attention to a persons mannerisms. Their body language. Body language can tell you more about an individual then some questions. This can lead to whether it is appropriate for a kiss on the first date. Or whether they welcome casual touches.

Remember being yourself on a date is very important. While you don’t want to scare the person off by revealing everything about yourself over one dinner you don’t want to keep everything about yourself hidden away. You also don’t want to focus solely on yourself. If it helps prepare some questions to ask to get a conversation going during a lag.

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