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Friday 12 August 2011

Female Orgasm: How to Give a Woman an Orgasm


For most men, sex ends with an orgasm. This is very important for most men. And after the orgasm, most men are satisfied and not willing to participate in active sex any more for some time. All this is different for women.

  • All women do not always have an orgasm. Some women have an orgasm most of the time, some only sometimes, some never. In one typical report:
    • 15 % of the women had orgasm every time they had sexual intercorse,
    • 48 % most of the time,
    • 19 % sometimes,
    • 11 % occasionaly,
    • 7 % never.
  • For many women, sex can be satisfying even without an orgasm. They value the closeness, intimacy, cuddling, more than the orgasm. In a report asking women why they enjoyed sex, their most common answer was emotional intimacy, and the most pleasurable event during sex for women was penetration, not orgasm.
  • A woman can continue to enjoy active sex after an orgasm. Some women can have more than one orgasm in succession.

These differences mean that men often have the wrong expectations from a woman. Sometimes, it is the man, not the woman, who wants her to have an orgasm. Men also have incorrect expectations because of porn movies. In porn movies, the women cry and moan, so men believe that a woman is more satisfied if she cries and moans. In reality, a woman gets more silent and withdrawn when getting closer to, or having, an orgasm. It is not uncommon that women fake orgasm, cry and moan because that is what the man expects them to do. Of course, sex will be more satisfying if men understand women better.

The complexity of sexual relations is shown by the fact that orgasm is not only enjoyed by the person having orgasm. The orgasm of the man is important to the woman, and reversely the orgasm of the woman is felt as important for many men, maybe too important.

Below is some discussion about how to help a woman get an orgasm. Important to note is that obtaining an orgasm may not be what is most important for her. Maybe other things are more important. Do not feel forced to obtain orgasm for the woman, unless this is her own wish.

Below are some items on how to help a woman get an orgasm. Always note, however, that getting a woman to enjoy sex is not the same thing as getting her to have an orgasm, since women can enjoy other things with sex more than the orgasm. Thus, if a man wants his woman to be happy, it may be more important to provide closeness and love rather than orgasm. Most women are not satisfied if the man enters them too early, but that is not because of lack of orgasm but because of lack of love and intimacy.

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